Saturday, May 18, 2013
just-smith:

egalitarianenthusiasts:

poorpoorpitifulme:

canadian-liberal:

sosungalittleclodofclay:

nietzschesghost:

submissivefeminist:

TW: Rape Culture
Often men do not understand that women have to walk home carrying protection. I have friends who carry keys, mace, and keychain clubs. I carry a switchblade in my pocket when I walk home from work. The fact that I feel like I have to do so is sickening, and men should be able to see that. 
I encourage men to be just as disgusted by rape culture as women. Aren’t you angry that a small percentage of your sex forces women to carry weapons and assume the worst of you when you walk home behind them?
We shouldn’t have to live in a culture that breeds necessary fear of strangers. I shouldn’t need a knife to walk home in the dark.
xx SF

Yes I was, That’s why I moved out of a violent crime ridden area, of course I was so focused on the danger of men that I never saw the woman coming….

terribly interesting.because I and and every guy I know carries at least one knife on him at all times. several of them keep guns in their homes. and when travelling, I carry a slightly battered shillelagh.  
it appears that men are accustomed to  what feminists call rape culture.

I’ve never carried a knife but I usually carry a water bottle which I make sure is available as a quick weapon (it’s usually full also).

Will these people please stop acting like they talk for all women omg, I have literally lost count of the number of times I’ve had to say this, but no, these experiences you’re all talking about are not universal female experiences. 
I have literally never walked home like that… in fact, most of the time when I’m walking home, even late at night, I do so with my hands in my pockets and my ipod on. Is this the wisest choice? Maybe not, but where I live is ridiculously safe, my walk home is along a brightly-lit highly residential main road and I have never, ever felt truly threatened when walking anywhere late at night (aside from that one time with a bunch of aggressive teenage girls…). But my point is that not every woman lives their lives paralysed by fear and, more importantly, the fear you feel does not necessarily have any real bearing on the amount of danger you are actually in. Images like this prove nothing except that a small subset of women apparently like to bolster each other’s paranoia to make themselves feel special. …Or something, idek. 

Plus, there are other reasons for being afraid of being out late. I personally have a tremendous fear of being mugged. Plus rape typically happens in a home environment, committed by someone the victim knew personally.
- Conor

Women don’t ‘have’ to do anything. Nobody is ‘forcing’ them to do this. Men face a much, much higher risk of all types of stranger violence.
Even if you use the most biased feminist statistics of rape, and erase that men are raped too, you have to consider other forms of violence, which are much more common. You cannot, therefore, claim that being unsafe is a uniquely female phenomenon.
You have to consider that most instances of rape are by somebody the victim knows, often at a party or within a relationship. You cannot, therefore, use statistics of rape’s prevalence to justify points about being unsafe on the streets, as most rapists are not strangers in alleyways, and so carrying weapons into those alleyways has nothing to do with most of the occurrences of rape you are citing.
I’ve always carried my keys like this, as a man, whilst I don’t know any women who do. Not only are you speaking over me, your claim to speak for all women as terrified little damsels is patronising and demeaning. Please stop.

Pretending that women are not taught to be in fear all the time, that it is their fault if they become a victim is denial and that ain’t no river in Egypt. 
If you don’t know any women that carry their keys like this then you aren’t talking to many women. 
Rape culture is training women to be blamed victims and training men to be prepared for any violent situation. Stopping rape culture is the beginning of solving a greater problem, violence. If you are afraid to walk home then perhaps you can feel the atmosphere of violence in you’re own neighborhood. 
Women are not exclusively the victims but they are often the victims that get blamed for being one. If a man is mugged it becomes a conversation of, “that must have been horrible for you. Are you OK? What can we do to help you? We will catch the bad people that did this to you!”
If a woman is mugged it is a completely different conversation. The words change to things like, “you shouldn’t be out here at night alone. You should have known better than to be here. What were you doing to attract attention from your assailant? I hope you learn from this.”
Don’t tell me this is patronizing. Your comments are the subtle enforcement of a culture that is demeaning to women. Yes you are a male and you can be a victim too. But you won’t get blamed for it. Women do. Everyday.

just-smith:

egalitarianenthusiasts:

poorpoorpitifulme:

canadian-liberal:

sosungalittleclodofclay:

nietzschesghost:

submissivefeminist:

TW: Rape Culture

Often men do not understand that women have to walk home carrying protection. I have friends who carry keys, mace, and keychain clubs. I carry a switchblade in my pocket when I walk home from work. The fact that I feel like I have to do so is sickening, and men should be able to see that. 

I encourage men to be just as disgusted by rape culture as women. Aren’t you angry that a small percentage of your sex forces women to carry weapons and assume the worst of you when you walk home behind them?

We shouldn’t have to live in a culture that breeds necessary fear of strangers. I shouldn’t need a knife to walk home in the dark.

xx SF

Yes I was, That’s why I moved out of a violent crime ridden area, of course I was so focused on the danger of men that I never saw the woman coming….

terribly interesting.
because I and and every guy I know carries at least one knife on him at all times. several of them keep guns in their homes. and when travelling, I carry a slightly battered shillelagh.  

it appears that men are accustomed to  what feminists call rape culture.

I’ve never carried a knife but I usually carry a water bottle which I make sure is available as a quick weapon (it’s usually full also).

Will these people please stop acting like they talk for all women omg, I have literally lost count of the number of times I’ve had to say this, but no, these experiences you’re all talking about are not universal female experiences

I have literally never walked home like that… in fact, most of the time when I’m walking home, even late at night, I do so with my hands in my pockets and my ipod on. Is this the wisest choice? Maybe not, but where I live is ridiculously safe, my walk home is along a brightly-lit highly residential main road and I have never, ever felt truly threatened when walking anywhere late at night (aside from that one time with a bunch of aggressive teenage girls…). But my point is that not every woman lives their lives paralysed by fear and, more importantly, the fear you feel does not necessarily have any real bearing on the amount of danger you are actually in. Images like this prove nothing except that a small subset of women apparently like to bolster each other’s paranoia to make themselves feel special. …Or something, idek. 

Plus, there are other reasons for being afraid of being out late. I personally have a tremendous fear of being mugged. Plus rape typically happens in a home environment, committed by someone the victim knew personally.

- Conor

Women don’t ‘have’ to do anything. Nobody is ‘forcing’ them to do this. Men face a much, much higher risk of all types of stranger violence.

Even if you use the most biased feminist statistics of rape, and erase that men are raped too, you have to consider other forms of violence, which are much more common. You cannot, therefore, claim that being unsafe is a uniquely female phenomenon.

You have to consider that most instances of rape are by somebody the victim knows, often at a party or within a relationship. You cannot, therefore, use statistics of rape’s prevalence to justify points about being unsafe on the streets, as most rapists are not strangers in alleyways, and so carrying weapons into those alleyways has nothing to do with most of the occurrences of rape you are citing.

I’ve always carried my keys like this, as a man, whilst I don’t know any women who do. Not only are you speaking over me, your claim to speak for all women as terrified little damsels is patronising and demeaning. Please stop.

Pretending that women are not taught to be in fear all the time, that it is their fault if they become a victim is denial and that ain’t no river in Egypt.

If you don’t know any women that carry their keys like this then you aren’t talking to many women.

Rape culture is training women to be blamed victims and training men to be prepared for any violent situation. Stopping rape culture is the beginning of solving a greater problem, violence. If you are afraid to walk home then perhaps you can feel the atmosphere of violence in you’re own neighborhood.

Women are not exclusively the victims but they are often the victims that get blamed for being one. If a man is mugged it becomes a conversation of, “that must have been horrible for you. Are you OK? What can we do to help you? We will catch the bad people that did this to you!”

If a woman is mugged it is a completely different conversation. The words change to things like, “you shouldn’t be out here at night alone. You should have known better than to be here. What were you doing to attract attention from your assailant? I hope you learn from this.”

Don’t tell me this is patronizing. Your comments are the subtle enforcement of a culture that is demeaning to women. Yes you are a male and you can be a victim too. But you won’t get blamed for it. Women do. Everyday.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Take Back The Night 04/25/2013 Philadelphia - Myths

The blurry clears up quickly.

Monday, March 18, 2013

What about her?

All this shit about the rapists all over the place, their lives are ruined, They had their whole lives in front of them, they were such nice boys.

Bullshit.

They were power hungry turds that had been elevated to superstar because they could play a fucking game. They were undisciplined little idiots that didn’t think they had to answer to anyone and thought they could do whatever they wanted. The got less than they deserve. Sure they might be in jail until they are 21, maximum. That is no more than 5 years. If they were a year or two older it would have been a minimum of 7 years. Still not enough.

And what of the victim? She will suffer for the rest of her life. She will feel fear every time someone just wants to hold her hand. She will question every decision she ever makes over and over again for the rest of her life.

The community will blame her because she drank alcohol and she had on shorts and a tight shirt. They won’t blame the boys for drinking under age, they won’t blame the boys for being violent, arrogant little shits. No they will blame the young woman for it all.

This young woman made one mistake. Thinking that the people at that party were her friends, nothing more. All other blame goes to the young men and all those who let them think that any of this was acceptable in any way.

The boys got 1-5 years. The girl got a life sentence.

Was my mother the only one?

WTF? Was my mother the only one to teach her son that anything less than “Yes” means ‘No’?

Sunday, March 17, 2013 Monday, March 11, 2013 Friday, February 8, 2013 Friday, December 30, 2011
You want to show solidarity with women? Acknowledge their right to be sexual beings without being sexual objects. That’s a start.

Unknown.  (via rosenplantzandguildenfern

)

I’m so sick of people not getting this

(via cactustreemotel)

Word.

(Source: slut-shaming)

Thursday, December 8, 2011
cactustreemotel:

politicaldirtylaundry:

News Should Always Be This Pretty - 

Excuse me?
This deserves a WTF?

cactustreemotel:

politicaldirtylaundry:

News Should Always Be This Pretty - 

Excuse me?

This deserves a WTF?

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Rape as a Men’s Issue - A training for men

I am putting together a training for men to, at the very least, start the conversation that Rape is a Men’s Issue. The idea is to start with the text below and develop the conversation to a personal level. I want each attendee to the training to understand that “Hey baby, nice [body part]!” is not a compliment and that when they even go that far they have gone too far.

Although I know this is long any input on refining this is greatly appreciated. (I put this together from many sources on the internet.)

Rape as a Men’s Issue (working title)

Why we are here:

Women live with the knowledge that they are at high risk to be raped. Unlike men, they must always take into account what the risk factors are in any activity they plan. Women are often admonished to take precautions in their day-to-day lives. Why should the responsibility for rape prevention hinge on factors such as whether or not women park in well lit areas, walk with the buddy system or lock car doors? The truth is, the responsibility for rape PREVENTION belongs to men! Because if rape is to stop, it MUST begin with men. All men. Not just the few who become rapists, but also with every man we know.

Overview

Definitions (Discussion)

Ask everyone to define Rape

Ask everyone to define Sexual Harassment

Top 10 things men can do to stop rape

Review and discuss

Statistical information about sexual abuse

Objectification

Making it Personal

Top 10 things men can do to stop rape

Although statistics show that most men never rape, the overwhelming majority of rapists (and one in ten victims) are in fact male. We ask men to make a promise to be a different kind of man—one who values equality and whose strength is not used for hurting.


1.       Be Aware of Language. We live in a society in which words often cut down or put down women. Avoid words like bitch, whore, freak, dog. Those words send a message that females are less than human. Seeing them in such a light makes it easier to treat them without respect or to ignore their well being.
2.       Communicate. Sexual violence goes hand in hand with poor sexual communication. Our own discomfort in speaking about sexual issues dramatically raises the risk of rape. By learning effective means of sexual communication—stating your desires clearly and listening to your partner, men make sex safer for themselves and others.
3.       Speak Up. You may never see a rape in progress but you will hear jokes and language that is inappropriate and degrades women. When your best friend tells a joke about rape, tell him it is not funny. Support women who bring charges against violent men. Do anything but remain silent.
4.       Support Survivors of Rape. Rape will not be taken seriously until everyone understands how common it is. In the U.S. alone, hundreds of thousands of women are raped each year. By learning to sensitively support the survivors in their lives, men can help both women and men feel more comfortable about coming forward and talking about what has happened to them.
5.       Contribute Your Time and Money. Join or donate to an organization working to prevent violence against women (532-6444). Rape Crisis Centers, Domestic Violence Shelters and similar groups depend on your donations for support. In the Manhattan area you can join SAFEZONE or The Campaign For Nonviolence, for example. You can give financial support to those groups as well as the K-State Women’s Center, the local Crisis Center Inc. and others. For info, see www.ksu.edu/womenscenter.
6.       Talk with Women. If you’re willing to listen, there is much to be learned about how the “risk of being raped” affects women’s daily lives. Talk to them about it.
7.       Talk with Men. Talk about what it is like to be viewed as a potential rapist. Talk about the fact that 15-20% of all males will be sexually abused in their lifetime. Talk about whether they know any rape survivors. But start talking.
8.       Organize. Join an organization dedicated to stopping sexual violence. Men’s anti rape groups are powerful. They are gaining popularity on college campuses. If you have the time and the drive, you can make a powerful difference. At KSU, join the PEERS student activist group! http://www.k-state.edu/womenscenter/
9.       Work against ALL oppression. Rape feeds off of all forms of prejudice including racism, homophobia, and religious discrimination. By speaking out against behaviors that promote one group as being superior to another, you support everyone’s equality. And finally…….
10.   Don’t ever have sex with anyone against their will—No matter what.

Statistical information about sexual abuse

  • ·         Every hour in the United States, 16 women confront rapists; a woman is raped every six minutes.
  • ·         Three out of four women will be victims of at least one violent crime during their lifetime.
  • ·         One-third of all domestic violence cases, if reported, would be charged as felony rape or felonious assault.
  • ·         The crime rate against women in the United States is significantly higher than in other country — the United States has a rape rate that is 13 times higher than England’s, nearly four times higher than Germany’s, and more than 20 times higher than Japan’s.
  • ·         Of all those arrested for major crimes — murder, rape, robbery, assault, burglary, larceny theft, motor vehicle theft and arson — rapists are the most likely to escape conviction.
  • ·         More than 40 percent of college women who have been raped say that they expect to be raped again.
  • ·         There were more women injured by rapists last year than Marines wounded by the enemy in all of World War II.
  • ·         Although campus studies suggest that 1,275 women were raped at America’s three largest universities in 1989, only three of those rapes were reported to police.
  • ·         One out of every seven women currently attending college has been raped.
  • ·         Since 1974, the rate of assaults against young women (20-24) has jumped 48 percent. For men of the same age group, it has decreased 12 percent.

Objectification (to Objectify)

  • ·         Definition from Dictionary.com - to present as an object, especially of sight, touch, or other physical sense
  •       o   In other words to treat a person as anything less than an equal.
  • ·         Discussion of objectification in our culture today and why it is wrong.
  • ·         How this gives a sense of entitlement from the aggressor
  • ·         How it makes the victim feel and react

Making it Personal

Discussion with the training group:

Do you know anyone that has been made uncomfortable?

Have you ever made someone uncomfortable, that you know of?

Have you ever said something you regret?

Have you ever said or done anything that you should regret?

Appropriate Behavior

Types of inappropriate behavior

  • ·         Touching of any kind
  • ·         Whistles
  • ·         Comments like, “hey babe…”, “Damn you are hot!”, “hey sexy”
  • ·         Ask for other examples of inappropriate behavior

Types of appropriate behavior

  • ·         Asking to assist, such as “May I get the door for you?”
  • ·         To compliment a woman on her appearance, a tip of the hat or a nod of the head with a smile as you pass. Do NOT turn and watch her walk away!  That is Objectification!
  • ·         Always treat everyone, male or female, with respect! Only say to them things you want to be said to your mother. If you wouldn’t say something to your sister/mother/grandmother you probably shouldn’t say it at all!

Any input can be sent to zhounder@zhounder.com